Diary of Lisa Cuddy
by Edlestein
Summary: This is the life of Lisa Cuddy since she met Gregory House
1. How everything started

It was her third day there and now she had enough money to buy her books and also the list to know what she should buy, Lisa Cuddy was walking to the bookstore.

In her way she looked around, maybe she could go out to run every morning it was a nice place and maybe she could read outside her bedroom when she had time or maybe do her homework, she entered to the bookstore.

The man who was selling the books was handsome: He had beautiful blue eyes, he was tall and his hair was dark, but the most beautiful thing on him was his eyes.

Cuddy knew he was a student, everyone could notice that.

She got close to him and smiled at him to look nice and polite.

"Hi I was wondering if you could help me" she said offering to him her schedule.

He took the schedule without looking at her, after a few seconds he looked for the first time to her.

"I am excessively ambitious and I have a chip in my shoulder, also I know how to party" he replied.

"You are making that up" answered Lisa without losing her smile.

"Your schedule is overloaded, but any of your classes begin before 11:00 and none takes professor's Lamb class…unless you have something to prove. Because with Siegel is easier"

"Maybe I have something to prove"

He smiled and left her alone, after a few minutes he came back with her books and gave them to her.

"Thank you" she said after gave him the money, after that she went out from the bookstore and walked to her dormitory.

When she met that guy and he told to her about his chip in his arm…she though he was crazy, but actually he was very funny.

Already in her dormitory, she started to unpack her books and some other things and when she find a little notebook with a note she remembered that her mother gave it to her with the intention of: "Being a diary during this amazing experience"

She ignored the notebook and continued unpacking her stuff, when she finished she decided to take a walk, with the hope of finding one more time to that weird but funny guy from the bookstore.

But she didn't, she came back to her room and after a couple of minutes she fall asleep.

First day running around the campus, she was enjoying it, when she stopped was for drink some water.

"Look who it is" said a deep voice behind her back.

She looked at him and smiled when she found those beautiful blue eyes.

"The girl who wants to prove something" he continued, she laughed and smiled at him.

"The guy with a chip on his shoulder" said Lisa while he was getting closer to her.

"Yeah…that's me. But I would like to know the name of the girl who is probably going to fail with Professor Lamb"

"Just if I know yours" she replied smiling.

"Gregory House" he said looking at her with attention.

"Lisa Cuddy"

"So…you like to do exercise?" he said.

"Does it notice?" asked her laughing.

"A bit" he admitted " You better go…it's 9 am, while you run to your dormitory, take a shower, brush your hair and everything…you'll be on time"

"You are right, we see us later Gregory. Maybe one day you could show me how to party"

He replied with a smile and she started to run to her dormitory, immediately she started to get ready, when she was already done she looked the clock in her desk, next to the clock it was the notebook that she found yesterday. Maybe have a diary wasn't a bad idea but she wasn't anymore a 10 year old girl.

She ignored one more time that little notebook and she walked to the door of her dormitory so she could be on time in her class.

Hello! I hope you liked the new chapter, I would like to know if you liked it, if you think that my grammar could be better if you have any ideas it would help me a lot...I'm new at this and I want to know if I can do this better.

Greetings,

María


	2. Dear Diary?

She was doing her homework in a coffee shop that was in the campus, Gregory was right…maybe the class with Professor Lamb was really hard.

"Told you" said that voice that she could recognise everywhere. She looked at him with a smile "With Siegel is easier"

"Maybe I could go to one of your endocrinology classes to see if it's true what you are saying"

"Good idea, and also you need to go to a party with me, remember?" he said raising his eyebrow.

"I remember. Maybe this Friday I could go to your class"

"I hope so. I have to go, see you later Cuddy"

"My name is Lisa" she said.

"I prefer to call you _Cuddy_" he replied smiling, Cuddy smiled at him back.

"Goodbye _House_"

When House wasn't already there, she decided to leave, while she was walking to her dormitory she couldn't help think about House, about what could happen that Friday, when she was already in her dormitory she looked at her desk.

That little notebook was torturing her, maybe she could write a bit…after all her mother gave it as a present and when someone gives you a present you need to use it at least once.

Maybe that was all she needed, write at least once what was going on in her head, she took the notebook and a pen, when she was going to start to write she laughed, it was ridiculous.

But even so she needed to do it at least once:

_August, 1986_

_Dear diary…_

_Honestly I feel like a 10 year old girl writing "this" and also like an idiot, I've seen in the movies how every girl writes about what happens in her day, about the love of her life, about her problems._

_Should I do the same? Like " Today I had breakfast, after that I did what I always do…run around the campus" ? It sounds stupid I do the same every day, except on weekends._

_Now the love of my life: I'm not in love, I _LIKE _someone. His name is Gregory House; I met him in my third day in the Faculty of Medicine, in the bookstore. I bought to him my books, I think he is a couple of years older than me…maybe 3, I never asked to him. We have talked a couple of times he prefers to call me "Cuddy" and not "Lisa"._

_He has beautiful blue eyes; I think I fall in love with them. I don't know him very well but that can change…&I hope it does._

_Now: my problems. I have just one: I don't spend enough time with him. And that's all I want to do…be with him._

_Goodbye,_

_Lisa_

She closed the notebook, after all…she felt better, all this days she wanted to tell to someone about House, but her sister would start to mock about her and her mother would get crazy, her friends…she didn't have a lot of them.

**Hello,**

** I'll take all your suggestions, while I found a Beta Reader I want you to apologize me for my grammar, if you know about someone who would like to help me…tell me and I'll be in contact with him/her.**

**So last chapter I committed a "finger mistake" that I already fixed.**

**Thank you for all the reviews and all the help.**

**Greetings,**

**Maria**


	3. Running

The next day, she woke up early with the intention of finding House one more time, while she was running she couldn't stop thinking about him and what she wrote in her diary the night before. "How could she be so childish?" she thought to herself.

A diary was for girls who are still in puberty and not for a college student. She was old enough to talk about her problems and not write them.

"Why are you up so early?" she yelled when she saw House running in front of her.

House stopped and looked at her, when Cuddy was directly in front of him he stopped running, and smiled at her.

"I had class earlier, but why are you up so early? You don't have a class before 11".

"I just woke up early and I did all my homework yesterday, so I decided to go for a run" she lied.

"Let's walk" said House.

Both started to walk while they were talking. She got what she wanted: to see the infamous Gregory House again. After a couple of minutes passed by they decided to stop for a bit and rest. They walked a bit more down the quad before they decided to sit on the ground.

House didn't think to bring any water with him, which he now regretted. After seeing how parched he was Lisa offered some of her own water she brought.

"Thanks" stated House, after sating his thirst. When there was no more water, they started to talk; finally she learned some things about the mysterious and infamous Gregory House. Now she finally knew how old he was and some more things about him, but there was only one thing that she didn't know.

"Can I ask you something?" said Cuddy.

"You did it right now." He said. "You asked my age, my hobby's…did you do a list named _Things that I have to ask to thee Gregory House_?"

"Why you prefer to call me _Cuddy _instead of _Lisa_?" she said ignoring what he said.

"Because…" he started, Cuddy could notice how he was thinking, maybe there was no reason, he just liked _Cuddy _over_ Lisa_ " I don't exactly know how to say it"

"Is it too hard of a question to answer?" she laughed at the same time she was thinking that there must be a reason, and apparently a good reason and so secret.

"No…I just don't want to sound ridiculous. Lisa is common and…common is boring. And right now you don't look like a boring person, so, why should I call you by a name, which is boring or common?" She smiled and she could notice how House was starting to blush.

"I told you it would sound ridiculous."

"No it doesn't sound ridiculous; actually…it was very nice." She replied without losing her smile, "You really think I'm not boring?"

"Well…it depends, talking with you is nice but I know that if I have to do work with you or something of that nature, you would be a very boring partner. But I'm sure we won't have to do work together" he stand up and looks at her.

" I have to go, see you later Cuddy", he says while waving to her and walking backwards.

"By the way…tomorrow is Friday, my endocrinology class is at 9, room A301.I'll be waiting"

"See you later", she shouts when he's half way across the quad.

He ran off, and she stayed there for a few more minutes, after she went to her room. She looked on her desk and spotted the diary, she approached her desk and opened it…maybe one more time wasn't a bad idea.

She checked the time on the clock that was on the wall, she had time enough to write and get ready, Lisa took a pen and the diary, she doubted what she was about to do. She was being a childish teenager and that wasn't very common for her.

_But common is boring_ she thought, and then she started to write:

_August, 1986_

_Here I am, again, feeling like an idiot when I write in here._

_Today I woke up earlier with the intention of finding him and talk to him again. _

_Him being Gregory, or should I say (or write) House._

_And I did it, I found him running. We ran together for a while and I talked to him._

_I now know why he prefers to call me "Cuddy", and I think that the reason was really sweet, quoting his own words:_

_"No…I just don't want to sound ridiculous. Lisa is common and…common is boring. And right now you don't look like a boring person, so, why should I call you by a name, which is boring or common?" _

_Maybe liking him is turning into loving him…but I'm not sure. What I do know is that he is 9 years older than I am, he doesn't have siblings, both of his parents are still alive, he is atheist and he likes to read._

_And tomorrow I'll go to his endocrinology class; finally…someone who doesn't find me boring._

_Write you later,_

_Cuddy_

** Thank you to my beta: dlb42694, for correcting this chapter**


	4. Plans for tonight

Cuddy was sitting next to House, sometimes she looked at him, she liked to see him think.

In the middle of class he looked at her, he wanted to talk to her, but she was concentrating on the lecture. Since, she was taking notes House didn't want to distract her.

"Cuddy…Cuddy…Lisa!"

Cuddy looked at him, she was a little angry, due to the fact that she hated when someone makes her loose her concentration. Especially, during a very important lecture on the hearts valves and when there would be a test tomorrow on it.

"What?" she replied

"Greg!" both looked to professor Siegel " Is there any problem?"

"No, it is…nothing" he said.

"Lisa?"

"There's no problem" she replied.

"Gregory next time that you want to disrupt my class to flirt with your girlfriend, you will be moved to the front row, is that clear?"

"She's not my girlfriend" said House laughing, Siegel laughed a bit too.

He had green eyes and brown hair, he was quite a young fellow, and maybe that's why the class he taught was easier. Since, Siegel was younger and he wanted to be considered the "nice teacher" or the "cool teacher".

For the rest of the class, House didn't bother Cuddy again. When they were already out of the classroom he took her hand. She suddenly looked up at him. House then dropped her hand to its original position.

"Did you like the class?" he asked.

"It's easier than with Lamb, maybe next year I'll decide to have class with Siegel. Though, I'm not sure."

"You should. I was thinking that maybe you would like to go to a party tonight. It would be fun, you should come it could use some spicing up." He smirked back at her.

"I don't know where it is going to be" she said smiling while chuckling at his last comment.

"Look I can pick you up and we can walk there together. But before I go to the party I need to talk with Siegel about the exam, if you want you could meet me here instead, so there's less time to waste."

"Great, so I'll meet you here and I will see you later" she gave to him a kiss on the cheek and she started to walk to her dormitory.

While she was walking she thought about House's invitation, she couldn't believe that she would be going with him to a party. She knew that during some point of the party he would disappear, most likely with a girl in tow. But for her it was enough that she had an invitation from House to go to the party.

When she arrived to her dorm room she looked at her desk and saw the notebook. Opening it up she turned to the next clean page and began to write.

_August 1986_

_I'm still thinking that writing in here is stupid and childish…but I still tend to do it._

_Today I went to his endocrinology class and I sat next to him. I watched him (It sounds creepy but it's the truth) and when he knows something I can see a special glow in his eyes. He is incredibly smart._

_His teacher thought that I was his girlfriend…I can't believe that! It was so funny…I just wonder why he thought that? Did House look like he was into me or something?_

_Well it doesn't matter, what matters is that he invited me to a party tonight and I'll be going, I couldn't say no to HOUSE._

_I hope this friendship between us continues. He's actually the only friend that I have here and if it ends I won't have anyone. It would be like high school all over again._

_I hope something special happens tonight._

_Cuddy_

**Thank you to my beta: dlb42694, for helping me with this chapter**


	5. The party

She fell asleep right after she finished her homework. When she woke up she glanced at the clock and Cuddy knew it was too late to meet House. She jumped up and rushed to get ready. She put on a short black dress that she had just bought the other day. She then applied some makeup and threw on her heels.

Running in heels is no easy thing but Cuddy made it work. Once she was close enough she could see House disappointed. He started to turn around the other way and walked alone to the party.

She stopped running.

_"How can I be such an idiot?"_ She thought

She started to run once again, trying to catch up with him. When she was enough close to him she started to walk and to following him to a near by fraternity house.

Lisa walked in and looked around trying to figure out where House went to. Everybody was mingling. A few people where dancing in the living room, while others sat around drinking and talking. A few people were hooking up on the couches this made Cuddy look disgusted. After a while searching she started to drink a beer and continued her search for House but she couldn't find him.

After searching for a half and hour Cuddy started to dance with two guys who were obviously older than her. Both were good looking but they were not House, suddenly, she felt someone touching her shoulder and she turned to look at the person.

"I thought you wouldn't come" he said when they were face to face. "I waited for you more than 20 minutes".

"I know and I'm so sorry. I was sleeping and I didn't hear the alarm and…now you will think I'm an idiot" she said when House was smiling.

"No, I don't think that. You are very smart…in my opinion" replied Gregory without losing his smile. "Let's dance"

She was blushing and she knew it. House wanted to dance with her to a song that was slow. He put his arm around her waist and Cuddy put her arm around his neck and both started to dance.

She smiled even more; she couldn't believe that she was there with House.

"Nervous?" whispered House in her ear, she blushed again and put her head in House's shoulder.

"No, why?" she replied.

"I can feel your hand is trembling. There are some options: You have Parkinson, maybe Huntington, but you are too young or you are nervous"

"I don't have Huntington or Parkinson and I'm not nervous"

"Should I believe you?" he asked getting his face closer to Cuddy's face.

"I…I…don-don't kn-know"

"You are nervous" That wasn't a question, and he was right. She was nervous, but why?

When she felt the lips from House in hers, she replied to the kiss with a smile. Cuddy was sure about something: It was a dream; she was sleeping in her bed.

Now she needed to wake up, but nothing happened when she gave to her body the order of waking up.

"Let's go somewhere" he said

"Where?" she asked confused.

"Somewhere away from here" he replied. "Like your dormitory or mine"

"Mine" she said.

He took Cuddy's hand and both started to run to her dormitory, when they were already inside they started to kiss each other one more time with passion, House charged Cuddy to her bed.

When she was already lying there, both stopped.

"I won't continue…unless you want me too" he said ashamed

Cuddy kissed him.

When she felt House's lips on her neck, she closed her eyes; she was going to enjoy the moment.

She opened her eyes when she felt how someone gave her a kiss on her cheek, when she found House's eyes looking at her, she smiled.

House was already wearing the clothes from last night that made her feel confused. Wouldn't he stay a couple of minutes?

"You have to go?" she asked.

"I have three missed phone calls from my roommate. Apparently the dean is asking for me."

"Is everything okay?"

"I hope so, give me your phone number and I promise to call you when I know what's going on" he gave to her a pen and a paper.

She took both things and wrote on the paper her name and her number, than she gave them back to him, he kissed her forehead and then he left.

Cuddy laid for a couple of minutes in her bed. Now what? She was on a relationship with House? Did he really love her or did he just want a thing from a one night?

She wanted to write all in her diary, but she couldn't do it. What if someone reads it? Which was almost improbable.

She took a shower and then put her clothes on, after that she took her notebook and a pen.

**Thank you to my beta: dlb42694.**

**I promise more than one diary entry in the next chapter **


	6. Move on

Lisa was sitting on the grass. She had her diary in her hands and she was reading it, now she didn't want to write anymore. She wanted to read about her first week at college, it was one of the most amazing weeks of her life. It was the last day of school before summer vacations.

_August 1986_

_Last night…I went to the party at some house. I danced with three guys: two were older than me & the third was House._

_I couldn't believe that it was real, but…It was. Someone that I liked danced with me, someone handsome, someone funny…this is so much better than High School._

_After we danced we went to my dormitory. That is where was the best night of my life happened, now I am his. _

_He just wanted to make me happy so he was careful and treated me like a porcelain doll that could be broken any moment._

_He made me feel special. But in the morning the dean called him. He promised me he'd call…so I'll be waiting._

_Cuddy_

_August, 1986_

_He hasn't called. I haven't seen him anywhere…I'm getting worried. I'm starting to think that he used me._

_Cuddy_

_September, 1986_

_It was a month ago, no calls. I haven't seen him. The worst part is that I think I am pregnant._

_What am I going to do? I can't do this alone, my mother will get crazy, and what is she going to say? I could do an abortion or give the baby in adoption…but House has the right to know about this._

_The problem is…I can't contact him or find him. Its like he vanished. I don't have his phone number or anything. And I am sure that he is the father because he has been the only one and…the first._

_Cuddy_

_September, 1986_

_ I heard that his roommate was expelled; now there's no way to find him. Today I am going to a pregnancy test to know if I am really pregnant or is just everything in my head. I just never have been "late"._

_Cuddy_

_October, 1986_

_I haven't written in a long time. I AM NOT PREGNANT. So now I can start to forget him and move on._

_Lisa_

_October, 1986_

_He used me! I can't believe I fell for his charm. I HATE him…I HATE him with all my soul._

_I HATE HIM!_

_Lisa_

She closed the notebook feeling like an idiot, she hated him. How could she be so stupid? He used her. The only good thing was that she wouldn't know anything about him anymore.

Lisa stood up and went to her dormitory. Though now she couldn't come in without thinking about that night.

She needed to move on.

**Thank you to my beta: dlb42694.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for all your reviews **


	7. Old desk

"House is a non-emotional child incapable of intimacy or romance. Trust me, its done." said Cuddy while she came into her office with Wilson "This is perfect."

Cuddy needed to redo her office after a little incident that she didn't want to remember anymore; during that week she shared an office and a desk with House. Which was an experience that she would never forget.

"I like the desk. It has a lot of character" said Wilson after looking around the room of the so called _new office_.

Cuddy looked at the desk with a perplexed look. When she got closer to it, she recognized that the desk in front of her was familiar.

"That's not the one I ordered. This is my old desk from med school!" said Cuddy with a smile, while she searched for something in the draws.

"Did you have it in storage or something?" asked Wilson with curiosity.

"My mom did!" Cuddy replied opening the last drawer. Inside there was a little notebook that she recognized immediately, her old diary with less than 20 diary entries.

"That's sweet of her to do that," said Wilson confused when he saw Cuddy looking surprised.

"She didn't. My mom has no idea I was redoing my office," said Cuddy, then she smiled.

The only person who knew that she was redoing her office and that knew about her desk was House. She looked at Wilson and he understood the meaning of that smile, he didn't know what to say about it.

"I think you should talk to him," said Wilson, she laughed and smiled even more "Good luck"

James left the office; she took the notebook out and started to read all what she wrote many years ago.

When she read the things she once wrote about House she smiled, laughed, and cried a bit. After that she put the notebook in the drawer again.

She stood up and started to walk to the elevator that would take her to the floor where the office from House was, in the elevator she was alone and in her thoughts was House and only House.

When the elevator was in the floor where she wanted, she went out and started to walk with a smile on her face, but Lisa stopped walking while she loosed her smile.

House was with a woman. She was wearing black clothes; the woman had blonde hair, was pretty and had a nice body. Obviously she was a hooker…but that made Cuddy think that House would never change.

She walked again to the elevator while some tears came down her face.

"Is everything fine?" asked a voice behind her back, Cuddy knew that it was a woman and also that this woman also was crying or that cried a few minutes ago. She looked at her and she was surprised when she saw Thirteen.

"I'm fine, don't worry. You?" asked Cuddy.

"I'm fine too" replied Thirteen "House is an idiot and whatever he said…"

"He didn't say anything" she replied.

"Well, whatever he said, did…he is an idiot" said Remy smiling at her.

Cuddy smiled back, when they were already in the first floor, both went out and started to walk in different directions without talking.

"Doctor Cuddy!" said Hadley, Cuddy looked at her confused "You don't deserve him, but if he really wants you…he can change"

Lisa smiled at her one more time, and then she walked to her office, there she opened the drawer where her notebook was, took a pen and started to write.

_December, 2008_

_I haven't written in here since many years ago._

_Now I'm the dean of medicine, I'm not that young student who didn't have friends._

_Bur I'm writing to "you" because now I'm in the same situation with the same person, Gregory House. Today I thought he could change when he ordered my old desk from med school where I found " you"._

_I redid my office because a couple of days ago we had a little incident here._

_The point is…he had a detail with me, and since a few weeks ago, I'm starting to have feeling for him again, when I saw my desk and I knew he was the one who ordered my desk I thought he changed for me, that he felt something for me._

_But when I saw him in his office with a hooker, I knew that I was wrong. He will never feel something for that me and he won't ever change._

_And I feel disappointed and like an idiot for thinking that._

_Lisa_

**Thank you to my beta: dlb42694.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for all your reviews. And sorry for not publish all the chapter as fas as you want me to do it. I'll make a travel for a week and I promise that I'll be back with more ideas that I hope you like.**

**Love all of you!**

**María**


	8. The most painful question

Cuddy was looking at House's patient and practically now also her patient. Cuddy was waiting for an answer and she was looking to Natalie.

"I didn't try to kill myself" said Natalie.

"Why did you have all those painkillers?" she replied, she looked guilt of something which made Cuddy think that she was lying. She had dark and long hair, beautiful blue eyes and she was a little bit on the chubby side, that's another reason to not believe her: Bullying because of her weight.

"In case I had a headache" she replied.

"Fine, you maybe took too many" Cuddy insisted.

She didn't say anything, Natalie just looked at the floor and then at her doctor, "Do you have any kids?" she asked.

That was the most painful question someone could ask Cuddy right now, she decided to answer fast and while also trying to control her voice, "No". She needed to change the subject "But High School wasn't so different when I was your age" said Cuddy while she was sitting on Natalie's bed. "Teenagers can be incredibly mean. I know what you are going through"

"I bet you were cool," said Natalie with sadness " You're pretty"

"You're pretty too" replied Cuddy with honesty.

"I'm fat and a looser. They all hate me. You know what they did last year? They took these photos of me for the yearbook …but it wasn't. It was for a website, making fun of me, calling me a pig" she said. Cuddy noticed that Natalie was going to cry in any moment.

"Forget about them" said Cuddy while she stood up "We'll make you better"

"What's the point?"

Now Cuddy didn't have an answer. She smiled at her and then went out of the room to talk with Natalie's parents.

When she saw them she couldn't help feel a bit of envy, they already had a beautiful daughter. And what did she have? A good job, a nice office, and a nice desk?

She took a deep breath and got closer to them.

"The acetyl cysteine could save her liver but have to act fast, if there is the chance that she took all this pills…"

"There's no chance" interrupted Natalie's father and Cuddy looked at him.

"Okay" she said after a few seconds of silence, she was about to leave but Natalie's mother started to talk.

"She used to be the happiest and sweetest girl in the world, a year ago she hit puberty and it's like a secret little stranger moved to her room. I tried to talk to her about what she is going through, but…" she shacked her head "Give her the treatment"

"Kimberley you don't think she…" started Natalie's father.

"I don't know what to believe" said Kimberly with some tears in her blue eyes. Natalie's father looked at Cuddy, and she understood what he meant.

Immediately she went to give her the treatment, after that she went to her office, closed the door and started to cry.

The question that Natalie made to her was painful, why she couldn't have kids? It was the only thing she asked, she looked at the _famous_ notebook that was on her desk, she took it and also a pen…she wouldn't talk about it with Wilson or her mother or House.

_December, 2008_

_I can't believe that I considered one time to have an abortion. Now I am thinking that every person that decides to do an abortion is an idiot. _

_I am single, so obviously having a baby with someone is impossible. I already tried many medical procedures and the only option I have now is adoption…and I even failed in that._

_Today I attended House's patient, she has wonderful parents who love her and I can't wait to love to someone in that way. But this patient, Natalie, has many emotional problems and I am getting scared of having a daughter with problems or a son. Today she asked me if I had kids…right now is the most painful question someone can ask me._

_What if in college after sleeping with House I actually got pregnant? Possibly he would know about the baby when he started to work for me. Or he wouldn't?_

_Have a kid with House would be something stupid…more now than ever, but I think that right now I don't care if I have a kid with him, with Wilson, with any other person or alone. But I really want one._

_I won't give up._

_Lisa_

Cuddy looked at her clock it was time to check Natalie.

**Thank you to my beta: dlb42694.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for all your reviews. Sorry it took me so much time to publish this chapter, but I came back from the beach, I wrote, and then I came back to school and I didn't have so much time. There are going to be many chpaters about this episode, but it won't happen the same with EVERY episode, it will be just with this one, because I think it was a very important episode for Cuddy.**

**María**


	9. Screwed Up

When Cuddy came in she saw how the cardiac frequency wasn't normal on Natalie's monitor, she started to attend her, but she asked to a nurse to call someone who belonged on House's team. Just a few minutes later Kutner and Taub came in.

"Heart beat?" asked Taub.

"One fifty" replied Cuddy "AP one eighty over one ten. Crackling three quarters the way out" she said while she went for a needle. When she came back she heard Kutner saying that she definitely didn't try to kill herself.

She put the needle in Natalie's leg. When she was better they left the room after consulting the nurses of her vitals. The next day Cuddy decided to go to House's office.

They immediately gathered around the white board and began bouncing off ideas.

"Scratch the hallucination, that's from the mushrooms. Leaves liver failure and now pulmonary edema" she said showing her concern.

"And you standing there" said House while he was writing _Cuddy_ on the board, she crossed her arms while he was looking at her.

"Yeah, I was going to stalk you home, but it was a busy week and your office is closer" she said with a serious look.

"With Thirteen and Foreman at the drug trial, we needed an answer for the overdose, so we called her and she's just updating us" said Taub to defend her.

"Convenient" said House looking at her with a defiant look.

"Update is over" she replied.

After that she left the office, and went to hers she started to think about House then about the case, then about Natalie.

Why did Natalie ask her if she had children? Was that something important for the case? Or maybe she was just curious? No, she was practically dying and nobody would ask those questions when you know you are dying.

Cuddy left her office to check Natalie. She needed to ask her why she asked to her if she had kids. After all, maybe it was something relevant; when she came in she started to attend her.

When she looked at her to ask her that important question, she noticed that Natalie was _gone._

"Natalie?" asked Cuddy getting closer to the teenager, but she was having seizure.

"Oh God. Natalie" said Kimberly who was with Cuddy in that moment.

"She is having a seizure" explained Cuddy "Put it aside. NURSE!" said Cuddy while she moved her patient.

"It's because of the TB?" asked Kimberly worried. And Cuddy knew that she needed to give to her an honest answer.

"No with stiffness neck. I don't know what this is" And that, was her honest answer." 4 milligrams of clonazepam!"

After a few minutes, the seizures stopped and then Cuddy went to House's office to explain him and see how the diagnosis was going, she could notice how he was going to mock about him in one moment or another.

But when she ended with her explanation, he started to write on the board.

"Liver, longs, and now brain which is mysteriously reappeared " House looked at Cuddy and she prepared for the mock " Speaking of a mysteriously appeared"

"Her LAT is 20 times, transaminases PT is way out. She is going to lose her liver, she needs to get in the transplant list" replied Cuddy to House to change the subject.

"You keep showing up, and also you keep leaving. It's possible that you have hot's for me, but you really really hate this kid. Also is remotely possible that we revert this"

"She is a nice kid, I want to make sure she is okay" she turned to the team "Hepatic fibrosis"

"Normal complementemia, normal size liver" said Thirteen.

"She reminds your self of you?" said House, and Cuddy looked at him "Na, you weren't a looser at high school. All Tom, Dick and Hershel had wet dreaming about you"

Cuddy wanted to say: "That's not true, you idiot." But she knew all could get worse.

"But she could making you think about another helpless chubby little girl that you recently met" when House said that, Cuddy started to feel more than mad.

"You are not really making this about the baby I tried to adopt" said with a voice full of sadness, but at the same time it showed how angry she felt.

"It's been a few weeks, just enough time to get over with feelings…"

"Natalie is sixteen." interrupted Cuddy trying to sound better. "I think you are confusing being maternal with being human," she looked at the team to change the subject "If we hadn't ruled out the mushrooms…"

"We shouldn't have" interrupted Kutner looking at floor, like he was thinking really hard. "Forget toxic, think allergic. Severe allergic reaction, could cause liver failure, respiratory arrest and encephalopathy"

"She ate the mushrooms days ago. There's no way to her to still be sick" said Thirteen looking at Kutner.

"Unless they provoked an infection, give her cutaneous test and antifungal" said House, and the team started to stand up.

Cuddy stayed there waiting him to say something, but after a few seconds she decided to leave, she knew that if House was going to say something it was going to be something hurtful.

In her office, she looked at her notebook, she wanted to write how much she hated House in that moment, how hurtful was his comment, how idiot he was, she took a pen and opened the notebook, but when she did that, the open was opened by Taub and Kutner.

"We talked to Simon" said Kutner "Apparently Natalie used to drink too much"

"How much do you mean by_ Too much_?" asked Cuddy closing her notebook.

"Every week more than 1 bottle of booze, she stopped to buying him when she got her own ID" said Taub "We wanted to tell this to House but…he is not in his office, and you were our other option"

"And she trusts you" said Kutner.

"Is she awake?" said Cuddy while she putted her gown on. Kutner nodded and Lisa left the office.

When she came in, Natalie put her homework aside, she knew that when Cuddy came in was to talk about something serious, and more with the look she had in her eyes.

Natalie nodded to make her understand that she could ask whatever she wanted, Cuddy sighed. She didn't know how to ask her something like that.

"Doctor Taub and doctor Kutner talked with Simon and he said to them that he used to sell you many bottles of booze, and we are worried about that. I need to know, why did you drink so much?" she said concerned.

Natalie sighed and looked at the floor.

"I don't drink. I did it back then, but…"

"You could die. We can't get you on the transplant list until we know why your liver is failing. Alcohol abuse would explain that, seizures could be from the abstinence" explained Cuddy, trying to make her understand how bad the things were.

"I haven't drunk in 6 months" said Natalie. " And I didn't drink so much back then."

"A couple of bottles of vodka at week?"

"I didn't even open the half of them. I just bought them because…you know, Simon was selling them. We used to be friends, and it was the only way to get him to talk to me" said Natalie with sadness, and Cuddy started to remember how her relationship with House in Med School was.

"Then why did you stop buying from him?" asked Cuddy confused "He said your got your own ID"

"I don't know" replied quickly.

"See, that's not a good answer" said Cuddy worried "Remember when you asked me if I had any kids?" said without trying to sound sad, and Natalie nodded "I don't, I know this might have nothing to do with this, but I was good at school, good at work, but a disaster in life. I screwed up every relationship I had" said thinking about House "And I thought to myself: "Why would I brought a child into this?" But then, I got older and…" she couldn't continue with that sentence, it was really hard to talk about it "How you feel now, will pass, don't let it screw up your whole life"

"It's already screwed up" said Natalie, Cuddy felt sorry for Natalie in that moment.

"If you think so…we have nothing more to discuss" Cuddy left Natalie alone, and went to her office.

All what she said to her just a couple of minutes ago was true, when she was sitting on her desk she took the notebook, and then se started to write all what she was going to write an hour ago.

_December, 2008_

_With this case I can see all the mistakes I committed in my life, how I screwed my life up and it makes me feel like an idiot. I screwed up my relationships, I just have 2 friends or I don't know if I can call House a friend._

_I definitely won't have kids or at least just one, I couldn't adopt one! And get pregnant I think it's impossible now._

_And I want that my son or daughter has a father, not just a mother. In this case I can see how my patient thinks her life is already messed up, like I did._

_I don't want her to end up like I did, she is only sixteen…back then, when I decided that my life didn't have sense and that have a kid wasn't the best, I was eighteen and it was because I slept with an idiot who now works for me._

_And she is taking this decision just because her weight and the mocks, she has time to change her life...she can go to a new school, make new friends, have better relationships than she has here, and she would realize about how her life isn't so bad._

_Sometimes I wish I could go back in time, have a normal friendship with House and other of my classmates and be a better person in life, not at work. Probably…everything would be so different._

_Lisa_

**Thank you to my beta: dlb42694.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for all your reviews. **

**María**


	10. Eclampsia

"Jerk," she heard, while she was searching for House at the clinic. She had to tell him how the parents refused for the treatment for alcoholism just a few minutes ago.

When House came out of a room, she looked at him.

"What was all about?" she asked surprised when she saw him wearing a doctor's coat he looked so handsome wearing one of those, but she decided to not give him the compliment.

"Chicken recipes" said while both walked together.

"The parents are opposing to the diazepam. I think Natalie is not being lying to me" said Cuddy while they got closer to a table.

"Is she willing to die, covering that she is boozing?"

"She is very depressed, she feels like she deserves what other kids do to her. I think she either want to die or she is trying to find the attention that dies brings to her" said the endocrinologist worried.

"I have no idea why you care so much" said House "Tell Kutner to start with the treatment"

"House the parents just…" started Cuddy mad.

"Ah ah, not for the alcoholism, for the seizures. Is totally different, you don't need approval for that" said House leaving.

Before she could say anything, he was gone; she went to find Kutner and asked him to give to Natalie the treatment. After that she went to her office to take her things and then went home. There she decided to keep thinking about the case…but at the end, she was thinking about how messed up was her life.

At the next day, instead of going to her office, she went to House's and started to work with the team. They informed to her about Natalie's state, after an hour House arrived without saying "Hello".

"Got to tell you about this clinic patient…" said House, and Cuddy looked at him.

"Natalie's liver continues failing, and now bradycardia. " she interrupted him "Atropine is not helping, we'll have to put her on a pacemaker"

"The alcoholic abstinence would make her heart race, not crawl" said House.

"The EKG was normal, echocardiography, electrolytes are normal" said Kutner.

"Multiple endocrine syndrome" said Cuddy.

"T4 was normal. Hypothalamic tumor?" said Thirteen.

"It didn't appear on the CT scan" said Taub.

"Is hitting all her organs, it could be something in the blood. Alkaline phosphatase?" said House, Remy started to search the answer.

"Three hundred" she said surprised.

"It can't be leukemia" said Cuddy, House went out and she decided to go with him, they needed to check that with Wilson.

During the way to Wilson's office they didn't say a word. Cuddy knew that if she said something House would start to make comments that would make her feel like crap.

House opened the door, and they came in, they talked about Natalie and then Cuddy said:

"High alkaline phosphatase could be of the liver failure, she is a teenager that means grow bone pubertal could throw it off."

"Maybe" said Wilson " But it's higher than one should expect, start her on chemo"

"We'll do a bone marrow biopsy to confirm," said House when he noticed how worried was Cuddy.

"Why are you ordering tests instead of treat her?" said the dean angry "Her heart and liver are about to give up. Do whatever you need to"

Wilson looked at House worried; he knew that he would say something stupid and that this visit would end up in a fight.

"Why are you so attached to this girl?" There is the stupid question. But when he saw that Cuddy wouldn't reply to him, he knew that the victim would be him.

House would try to find out about it and the only person who would be able to listen to him would be (of course, his only best friend) him.

"It's you call" said House standing up.

Cuddy looked at Wilson mad.

"He doesn't want us to treat her" there, Wilson noticed that House was right; Cuddy was attached to the patient.

"Even it is leukemia, even we kill every cancer cell, and her heart and liver are bad."

"A double transplant" she said with hope.

"With brain involved? The committee wouldn't even open the file" said Wilson trying to make his friend understand the situation. "There's no reason to put a dying girl for a hurtful treatment if we can't save her." Cuddy nodded with sadness "He is being kind"

"I'll order the biopsy" said Cuddy standing up and taking the file from Wilson's hand. But when she was about the biopsy, she had an idea.

She walked as fast as she could to House's office, he was sitting on his desk, and she took a deep breath before she came into the office and tried to smile at him.

"What if we are wrong?" she said, and he looked at him "Maybe we shouldn't overlook the autoimmune. High sedrate…"

"We already got through all over this" said House "High normal complement level"

"So this is not hepatic fibrosis. It could still be a microangiopathy vasculitis" she said taking some books out of the chair "With high dose steroids we might be able to reverse…"

"You run a hospital, that treats thousands of patients' everyday" he said while he was taking papers of his desk. "Some of them die, every day. If you just work up for every one of them…yes" he said when he found a box, he smiled and started a read a note that was on the box.

"BRB" he said while he took his cane, Lisa stood up.

"What is it?" she asked.

"The thank you from a patient" he said leaving his office while Cuddy walked behind him.

"For you?" replied she trying to not laugh, but in her voice you could notice that she thought it was very funny.

"I saved her marriage showing that her pregnancy was a result of parthenogenesis"

"Human parthenogenesis? You proved…?"

"Yup" said House "It's unbelievable but I personally checked it five times"

"How did you check it five times? The thermo cycler doesn't work; you should have done it in another place"

"Oh yeah…" he said "It sounds impossible now that I think, maybe the explanation, is that she cheated him, so I decided to make it look like a parthenogenesis" he said opening the door of Wilson's office.

"What? Why?" she asked.

"I win" he said closing the door, and his hands were now empty.

"You faked a scientist miracle just to win a bet to Wilson?" she asked when they were coming back to House's office.

"More an argument" he said "It would have been easier to fake the paternity test, but hey…Christmas spirit and all that" he said opening the door of his office.

"I think you are confusing "nice" with "evil" again" she said holding the door. "Let a woman to cheat her husband by inventing a virginal birth so you could…"

Now everything had sense, the questions, her attitude, the symptoms, Simon…she had an answer, she could notice that House was talking but she was concentrated, it was impossible but everything fitted with the disease she was thinking of.

"It's not leukemia…" she said with sadness "Seizures, liver failure…it's Eclampsia"

"Which means we don't have only one patient dying, we have two" said House "You have to ask her…she trusts on you, you are the only one who can get an answer"

She nodded and went to see how Natalie was doing. When she came in she saw the parents of Natalie with her, she got closer to them, and it was time to give them the news.

"You have a disease called Eclampsia. It causes liver failure, pulmonary edema and seizures" she explained "It's also associated to the cardiopathy"

"That's a pregnancy disease, you tested her when she came in" said Kimberly, Cuddy kept looking at Natalie, making her know that this was something important.

"You can get Eclampsia after a month to giving to birth" said Cuddy

"That's ridiculous, how she could hide a pregnancy?" said Natalie's father angry.

"Loose clothes. She is rugged, maybe it's premature. Three weeks ago you could have missed it on a physical exam. The baby is why you quit drinking, isn't it? That's why you asked me if I had kids, that's why you felt guilty" after Cuddy said that, they were in silence, Natalie sighed and looked at her parents.

"I am sorry"

"Who did this to you?" asked his father.

"Simon" replied Natalie "It wasn't bad, we were like a couple for a while we just didn't tell anyone. He doesn't know about it."

"What happened with the baby?" asked Kimberly.

"I was going to give her away" said Natalie crying "If the school founded out. I was in the charity kitchen, and I felt she was coming, there was an empty house down the street, but…she wasn't breathing. I tried so hard but I couldn't do anything…I am so sorry" Cuddy felt a tear on her lip and decided to stop crying to not show weakness. "If I had her on the hospital…maybe she would be alive"

"Can you cure this?" asked Kimberly crying.

"The damage in the heart and liver is permanent"

"I am going to die?" said Natalie in shock.

"I am sorry" said Cuddy with a tear on her cheek

"I didn't burry her. I just put my coat over" Natalie's family, and her started to cry and Cuddy decided to leave them alone.

When she was in her office she took her notebook and a pen and started to write.

_December, 2008._

_Natalie has Eclampsia, she is going to die soon and I feel sorry for her, and for that baby. She had the baby in an abandoned house; she said that the baby was born dead._

_Probably because it was premature, I know she feels guilty and now I know why she asked me…that, today more than ever I felt how much I missed in life. _

_She didn't burry the baby, and she is sad about it. I am sure I would be in the same situation, I am afraid that if someone comes in and finds the body and does something with it._

_The baby would have 3 weeks now_

She stopped writing, took her coat and a hat, and then went to her car…she was going to find that baby.

**Thanks to my beta: dlb42694.**

**Thank you for all your reviews. **

**María**


	11. Rachel

She opened the door, she was holding a lamp so she could illuminate the place and make it easier to find the baby. She kept walking and opened another door, there were to many rooms…she knew it would be hard to find the baby in that dark place and after three weeks.

Cuddy came into a room with light and with some tables that had food on it, maybe the baby was alive after all.

"Get out of my house," said a voice, she looked at the person who was talking.

"I am a doctor" she said scared.

"I don't care who you are" said the man, obviously he didn't have money and he was living there because it was his only choice.

"Did you…did you find the body of a dead baby?" she said with sadness.

"I said get out" he said, making feel Cuddy more scared than she already was. She took a step back and crashed against the wall while the man was getting closer to her.

"Michael?" said the voice of a woman coming behind the man.

"Who are you?" said a blonde woman coming.

The woman was carrying a baby, Cuddy wanted to smile, but she knew that maybe she would get in trouble because of that. She just got closer to the woman.

"This is not your baby. You are tiny, there's no way you gave birth two weeks ago" said Cuddy looking at the woman.

"She's my sister's"

"That baby is sick. She needs clean water and heat, she probably born with block air ways, she might even have brain damage" said the dean knowing that the woman was lying. "You can't take care of her in a place like this"

"Shut up!" said Michael, reminding to Cuddy that he was there and that he would probably hit her.

"I took care of her" said the woman, it was obvious that she was already attached to the baby.

"I know. You found her. You saved her life, now you have to let her go" said Cuddy feeling sorry for that woman, the blonde looked at the baby, she was going to cry.

She came closer to Cuddy and gave her the baby, she started to cry and hugged her husband. Cuddy looked at them, she didn't know what to do.

"Leave…please" said the woman, Cuddy nodded and went to her car, she took her coat of and put it on the backseat.

There she left the baby and started to drive slowly to the hospital. When she got there, she gave to the baby a bath and put her warm clothes. She noticed how House observed her outside, and when she looked at him he left.

When the baby girl was ready, she took her to Natalie's room; there she got closer to the teenager.

"Who's that?" asked Natalie.

"It's your daughter" said Cuddy smiling at her. "She was alive, people found her and took care of her"

Natalie took the baby when Cuddy handed it to her, shw looked so happy, also amazed…and Cuddy looked at her with envy. She was never going to live something like that, she was never going to have a kid.

After a couple of minutes she left, to give them privacy. After an hour Natalie's family called to her there were Simon and Simon parents too.

She talked with all of them, they didn't want to keep the baby because it was too sad and painful, Cuddy nodded she needed to do some paperwork to start with the documents…and then she saw her chance, she could try to adopt the baby.

She left the room when there was nothing else to say, when she was in her office she started the paperwork and called to a lawyer, when she did all that she went to see to the baby.

Just a few minutes later, she hear the door getting opened and saw House, she smiled at him.

"What is going to happen to her?" asked.

"I talked with both parents, it's too painful they putting her in adoption" said Cuddy.

There was a minute of silence.

"What are you going to do?"

Cuddy looked at him, House always knew what she was thinking, and that was one of the things she liked about him.

"I already spoke to a lawyer. I'll ask the temporary care and then…I'll adopt" she said with happiness in her voice, she smiled, and put her hand on the baby.

House was in silence, looking at her.

"Merry Christmas, Cuddy" he said.

After a few minutes, she looked at him to tell him the same, but he was already gone, she stayed there…she didn't know how much time, she wanted to stay there forever.

But then she had to left, she went to her office and took her notebook one more time, so she could write.

_December, 2008_

_I'm glad to write in here, that I am going to be a mother soon. I am adopting Natalie's daughter, I found her in the place where she gave to birth._

_Some people found her and took care of her…then I spoke with both grandparents, I already called a lawyer and soon she is going to be at my place._

_House was the first one to know, she didn't show that he was happy for me, but knowing him…I know he is._

_I can't believe_ this is happening _to me! I know I am having a baby because of a bad thing, but maybe this was meant to be…It was a case that came to House's hands because of me and now I am going to be a mother._

_I know I shouldn't have high expectations, because everything can change from one moment to another…but now I am SO CLOSE._

_If this doesn't go well…I will never try again to adopt, this is my last chance to be happy._

_I hope Wilson and my family will support me with this…because it is one of the best things it could ever happen to me. I am going to call her Rachel…one of my favorite names because…_

_I can't call her Joy like the last one._

_Lisa_

**Thanks to my beta: dlb42694.**

**Thank you for all your reviews. **

**María**


	12. Inspection

She was looking for her phone. Her place was a disaster since Rachel started living there, she couldn't complain about it. She liked that the reason of having her house like that due to her daughter, but she needed everything clean a perfect for the DYFS.

Cuddy found her phone under a pillow. She took it out and called to Tammy, Tammy helped her to keep her place clean, but she was running later than expected.

"Tammy, you said you would be a _little_ late. DYFS is going to be here in an hour and this place is a disaster," she said through the phone after Tammy answered.

In that moment she heard someone knocking her door, she was hoping it wasn't the DYFS. Maybe it was House again, about to bother her about his patient.

Lisa looked to the window to see who it was. When she saw a black man, tall, with a suit, she knew she was in trouble with all that mess.

"Forget it," she said hanging up. In that second Rachel started to cry and the frustration she was feeling got bigger.

She stood up carrying Rachel and opened the door with a smile. To look better for DYFS of course, but how could she look better? She wasn't wearing the appropriate clothes, she had no makeup on her face, and she looked tired, like she was a zombie.

"Good morning, may I come in?" he said after introducing himself, she didn't hear his name because of Rachel's cry.

"Yeah, sure. Please, come in" she said letting him get into the place, while she tried to make Rachel fall asleep. When the baby finally did, Cuddy left her in her bedroom.

The man and she started to walk around the house; he didn't stop writing while he looked what was around him.

"I was expecting you a little bit later" she said walking behind him.

"I had a cancelation and I thought I could came earlier," he said without stopping his writing and looked around.

"I am sorry this place is such a mess, I had difficult work week" said Cuddy a bit worried of what he may think about her.

"Any guns in the house?" he asked without looking at her.

"Ahh no" she said while he turned to go to the next room.

"Pets? Besides the ants?" he said looking at the floor.

_Perfect…I am screwed because of the ants _she though.

"No…" she replied ashamed. That man was making her feel nervous, more than she already was.

He moved his hand to her black bag, Cuddy felt that was crossing the line; he had no right to see her personal things.

"Nice bag" he said…surprised? "Pricey way to throw away the diapers"

Diapers? What dippers? She got closer and took out a diaper from her black bag. The one she gave to House yesterday, now she was more than scared, ants and then that.

"Sorry I usually don't do that…I am sort of panicked" said Cuddy being honest. Now she needed to remember his name…Carlson? Carl? Carlton! " Mister Carlton, if you could let me explain you all this…"

"I think everything looks fine" he interrupted her.

She stopped walking and looked at him surprised, fine? Really? FINE?!

"Really?"

"Doctor Cuddy" said mister Carlton smiling "You've got sufficient income, a high degree, professional and personal stability, and you care enough to be embarrassed about what a mess is this place. Believe me that puts you on the top of the list compared to some or most of the moms I visit. See you next year, if you haven't adopted her by then"

She looked how he went out, inside she was smiling and lighting up. She couldn't believe all that mess helped her, the diaper on her bag, how awful she looked in that moment…now she had a daughter.

Cuddy sighed, in sign of relief. The rest of the day she started to order her place, in the night when Rachel, was finally sleeping. She decided to sit down and read for a while.

When she heard someone knocking on the door she knew that maybe she would have to read in a couple of minutes. She was hoping it was House, but when she saw through the window that it was actually Wilson. She felt a bit disappointed, but she couldn't complain.

"It's open," she said smiling.

She heard Wilson coming in, and when she saw him caring a huge duck she started to laugh.

"Thank you" said Lisa without stop laughing.

"It's too big?" he asked.

"She will grow into it" she said smiling "Put it there" said pointing at a couch.

"How was the inspection?"

"I passed," she said with satisfaction, but a bit angry remembering how everything was almost screwed up.

"You do realise it is something good?" asked Wilson confused while Cuddy was putting in order a table.

"This place was a disaster. I had to stash a dirty diaper in my briefcase," she said.

"Buy another briefcase," said Wilson.

"I let House supervise himself, it's like let a 12 year old kid with the keys of a car"

"You passed the inspection," said Wilson, trying to make her feel better. "The patient lived, the car is still on the driveway"

"And the next time the nanny gets sick and House wants to cut someone in half?" she said imagining how the hospital would look like if House made it explode.

"Did I mention you passed the inspection?" said Wilson.

Cuddy took her dishes and looked at Wilson feeling disappointed for some reason, but after a few seconds she knew why she was feeling like if she failed in something.

"I passed with their standards, not mine"

"Why the women do always that?" said Wilson while Cuddy was leaving the room, but she stopped when she heard that.

"Fail?"

"Create their standards, that nobody could reach. With your carriers, your kids. You've got to be more as man"

"Be lazy? Blame others?" Cuddy asked thinking about House.

"Get help! Most men in your position have two assistants and a wife and two nannies at home. You are not Superwoman, don't be a martyr" said Wilson looking at her.

She sighed; she didn't know what to say. After a few minutes of talking with Wilson he left, he was right she needed help. She sat on the couch and took the notebook that was on the coffee table since that morning.

Cuddy stood up and went to a little office that she had next to her bedroom. There she took a pen and came back to the living room to start to write on the notebook

_January 2009,_

_Rachel is finally "mine", I still without believing it. I have finally a daughter. I didn't fail this time, but Wilson told me something in which he is right._

_I can't do this entire thing alone, I am not Superwoman. I definitely won't get another assistant, I have always though that one is enough, two nannies is a good idea. If one gets sick, I would have another who could take care of Rachel. And he said something about a husband…_

_Does he think I would marry with a man just to have someone who would also support me? I have enough with him trying to help, and I would like to say that House is helping…but he isn't._

_Actually I wish I wasn't alone at this, if House and I were together or married it could be more special. I am not saying that this isn't special…I actually think this is the most incredible think it could ever happen to me._

_I am just wondering how would it be this with someone that I love…_

_Lisa_

She closed the notebook and went to her bed; she was going to try to sleep.

When she woke up, she did her routine and waited for Tammy, who would take care of Rachel while she went to work.

Just two minutes later after Tammy arrived she drove to the hospital and there she went to her office to leave her things, and then she went to ER, she needed to talk to Cameron.

When she saw her, Cameron noticed how her boss was observing her and went to see her.

"You offered to do House's budget because you wanted him to owe you a favour, you wanted to take him that case. Why?" she asked to start a conversation with the blonde.

"I thought it would help House to see someone who is worse than him, and maybe that would help him" said Cameron.

Cuddy nodded, and when Cameron was about to leave, Cuddy knew it was time to say why she was there:

"Can I ask you something?" Cameron looked at her again "How do you like my job?"

Cameron didn't understand why Cuddy was asking to her that, was she quitting? Was Cuddy going to give her, her job before she left? Or…why was she asking that?

**Thanks to my beta: dlb42694.**

**Thank you for all your reviews and I apologise for taking so long to update this chapter, but I've been doing a lot of works for the school and I don't have so much time, but I promise I'll keep writing. **

**María**


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